Mom who Understands  / Chris Furtick (Mom who understands )
I'm so sorry about your sweet child. No matter the age, our love for our children is the same.  My son was twenty seven. I feel very fortunate  to have had him for this time.  he was and will always be my baby. May God bless.

Robbs Mom, (Chris) Close

Memories / Mum
Hi Matthew,
Its been almost seven months now since you got your wings, in one way I can believe time has passed so quickly and in another way itseems so long sinse I saw your cheeky grin or heard your voice. I miss you as much now as I did the day you left, probably more, time takes me further away from you, that hurts and so I try to think of it another way, time brings me closer to being with you again.
In seven months I have realised that you may have left us too soon but you left behind a lifetimes worth of memories. Every time we think of you there is something to make us laugh, like the time you wanted to sit in the front seatof the car, we had gone to pets at home and I told you that you had to sit in the back, off you ran ahead and suddenly you disappeared. I panicked and began frantically searching for you, all the time wondering how you could have just disappeared, there was nowhere for you to go. I found you a few minutes later... in the front seat of the car with that cheeky grin on your face.
Or the time you started sleep walking, or should I say running?  It wasn't long before you got your wings, I was in bed one night beside you and I was reading my book, the next thing you jumped up out of bed and started running round in circles at the side of the bed, after about 3 or 4 'laps' you got back in bed and started snoring gently. You did that for three nights on the run, on the fourth night it was slightly different, after the normal 3 or 4 laps you told me you needed the toilet and off you ran to the bathroom. I followed and by the time I got there you were perched on the side of the bath with your pants round your ankles. 'Matthew thats not the toilet, thats the bath' I said but you told me it was the toilet and that you needed a wee, no amount of persuation could convince you that you were sat on the bath and although I was trying not to laugh I had tears rolling down my face. By morning you had forgotten all about it and when I told you, you laughed and said 'Sorry mum'.
I could go on all day about the wonderful memories you gave us and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for them.
My love always
Your very proud Mum
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thank you for lettin me visit ur site  / Caroline Jamiesmum Butterfield (spoke to his mum )
hi im jamiesmum and i have spoke to mathews mum on other site i am so proud of your site you can visit my site any time you  like in my sons memory i know how it feels to lose a child as i did a son 10 years old last may xxxxxxxx

http://groups.msn.com/restinpeacemylittleangel Close

Gaurdian Angel  / Barbara
My name is Barbara.  I am a friend of Sarah's and live in America.  The loss of Matthew was felt strongly by those whom I shared her grief with.  Many tears and prayers went out to this small family thousands of miles away.
The following is a recent letter written to my friends about a boy named Jarrod, Matthew and his mum.   It's about the love our heavenly Father has for us.  So much love that he gave his only Son....and continues to give in ways many people never now.  The following letter shows you  the ways He continues to Give His Love...if only you choose to see.

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Heavens hugs and Love  / Funda Sibels Mummy

Whenever I think of Sibel in Heaven I think of little Matthew, playing alongside her in a Spiderman outfit and Sibel dressed as Tinkerbell.  Sarah, I know how much this hurts.  I look at photos of your little Angel and he looks so full of life, his cute smile.  There are no magic fixes and this devastation is a life long sentence for us all.  The only comfort is in believing that our Angels were SO special and loved and too good for this world that God took them to Heaven. 
Matthew, wherever you are, give your Family lots of Angel hugs and love for those hugs and that love is now coming from Heaven and is blessed.  May it bring with it a little peace to get through the next day.  Thinking of your lovely family.x

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My best friend and I remembering our sons / Mum

I said,'God, I hurt'
And God said,'I know'
I said,'God, I cry a lot'
And God said,'That is why I gave you tears'
I said,'God I am so depressed'
And God said,'That is why I gave you sunshine'
I said,'God, life is so hard'
And God said,'That is why I gave you loved ones'
I said,'God my loved one died'
And God said,'So did mine'
I said,'God, it is such a loss'
And God said,'I saw mine nailed to a cross'
I said,'But your loved one lives'
And God said,'So does yours'
I said,'God where is he now?'
And God said,'Mine is on the right
and yours is in the light'
I said,'God, it hurts'
And God said,'I know'
~ Author Unknown ~

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So True!  / Shirley Ling (visitor)
Sarah,
your words are so very true, as much as people try to understand how we are feeling  they never can!   death of a child is something you have to experience to even begin to understand how painful it is,   i try to put into words the pain and  how it feels, all i can  say is it is like the pain of childbirth we all know the pain at the time but,  "you have to experience it to know how it feels"
i hope this makes sense!!  this is how i explain the hurt  of  the loss of my beautiful Gemma, our grief is still so raw as is yours, you have created a beautiful tribute to such a lovely happy little  boy!  yes we all have to go through with the day to day chores of life we have no choice!  but we can also wear a mask so as to appear "normal" what ever that is. we can never revert back to the happy fulfilled lives we had before our childs death! however long we live life will never be the same.

My thoughts are with you and may you continue to keep Mattthew alive through this wonderful  site. x 

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A similar loss  / Lisa Hendrickson (a visitor )
My heart aches for you. I, also, lost a child to meningitis. My precious Ireland was recieved by God on April 6th, 2005. She lived a short life of only three weeks. A quote I would like to share from a poem I have read; "God broke our hearts to prove he only takes the best."  I try to believe that to be true. Our Angel's were both too perfect for this wolrd. With heartfelt sympathy, I pray for you. Close

I wont ever forget you  / Mum

People think if they don't talk about you, I wont hurt, if they don't talk about you I may forget, but I wont ever forget, or stop hurting.
My love Always Spiderman xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

BEING THERE 
 
Do you know of someone 
Whose precious child has died? 
Perhaps she is a neighbour or friend 
With whom you can confide. 
You assume that she is suffering 
A tragedy so deep, 
That there is nothing you can do 
Since all she does is weep. 
You feel that if you see her 
There is nothing you can say 
That would make her precious child come back 
Or make the pain go away.  
And if by chance you meet her 
And have to face her grief, 
You'll do your very best 
To make this meeting brief. 
You'll talk about the weather 
Or the lady down the lane, 
But you'll never mention her child -  
That would cause her too much pain! 
And when the funeral's over, 
And all is said and done, 
You'll go home to your family, 
And she'll be all alone. 
She'll go on, she'll be allright, time heals -  
Or so it seems, 
While she's left alone to pick up the pieces Of her shattered life and dreams. 
 
 
-OR- 
 
You can open your heart 
And find that special place 
Where compassion and true giving 
Are awaiting your embrace. 
"Today I'm thinking of you in a very special way," 
Or, how about "I Love You!" 
Are some loving thing to say. 
Sometimes a very simple task 
Like picking up the phone, 
Can help her feel not-so-quite 
Desperately alone. 
Whatever comes from a genuine heart 
Cannot be said in vain 
For the truth is, it's these very things 
That lessen her great pain. 
And when you let her talk about 
Her child who is now dead, 
You'll know this is far greater 
Than anything you've said. 
So will you reach out with all your soul 
And let her know you care? 
For in the end there's no substitute 
For simply BEING THERE

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Its just Mum again  / Mum
Dear Matthew,
I am not sure how I am supposed to do this. People see me smile, sometimes laugh, they think I have forgotten, 'moved on' but I haven't.
The tears come at night when Im on my own, when Josh and Charlotte are in bed and I am tired from going up and down stairs to check that they are still breathing. Thats when I grieve for you and wonder how on earth this happened.Or days like today when it feels like realising it all over again, suddenly I get the thought in my head "Matthew isnt coming back, he died" and I feel like Im in shock again, then the shock wears off and the tears start all over, I cry until I cant have any tears left, and then I cry some more. My only relief is a tiny white tablet that helps me to sleep, then I get a rest from the pain for a few hours.
I have no idea how Im supposed to live the rest of my life without you and some days I dont even want to, but I have to keep going, I cant say carry on, its just surviving each day until my time comes to be with you again.
I miss you so much Matt
All my love forever
Mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close

A few words from mum  / Mum
Hiya Matt,
Today has been hard, I went with Grandad to order your headstone. I just got up this morning and knew I had to do it today. Before we went I asked you to come with us and make sure we got it right. We went and had a look at some but I'd already chosen the one I thought you'd like. We were sat waiting for the lady to sort it all out when I saw something on the ceiling, I showed Grandad the tiny spider and we decided you were there watching over us.
They are going to put a little spiders web on your stone which I know you'd approve of.
When we were coming out a lady told us it was a nice stone, Its not nice, I shouldn't have to chose a headstone for you, you should choose one for me in many years to come. This is the way it is now though, I dont have a choice so I picked the one that was the 'nicest'.
I hope you'll like it.
Grandad and I went for some lunch then and Grandad was telling me that you had been messing with the door locks and lights in his car, we all feel better knowing that you are still with us so dont forget to keep coming to visit and let us know.
We miss you so much, be a good boy and before you know it I will be there with you.
My love always to my special Spiderman
Mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close

HE ONLY TOOK MY HAND  / Mum
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Happy Easter  / Mum
Hi Matthew,
Its your first Easter in Heaven, I know you wont eat too many eggs, you'll be too busy sharing them out between your new Angel friends.
Its been almost four months since you got your wings and not a day passes where I dont think of you and miss you terribly, I suppose these 'special' times just make us realise how much we miss spoiling you.
Id give anything to buy you an egg and have you give me a big hug in return. You were so 'cuddly' a real mummys boy and I miss that too.
My arms and my heart are empty without you, I know time has no meaning where you are, but it seems like forever to me.
Play nice and fly high with your Angel friends and in the blink of an eye (for you) I will be there to hug you once more.
My love forever special little man
Mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close

Hey Matthew  / Gail Richardson
Hi Matthew - It's Gail here - yes that's right Meshael's mum!!  Just wanted you to know that we are all doing our best to help your Mummy not to be sad. You know that she misses you so, so much.  I know that you have lots of friends there in Heaven - but just try to send your Mummy a little Angel hug now and then, so she knows that you are always around her. 
Tell Meshael and all the other Angels that we miss them too. 
God Bless sweetheart
lots of love
Gail Close

Our Little Angel Is With Your Little Angel  / Emma &. Karl Mason
Our thoughts and prayers are with you today and everyday as we know how hard it is to lose a child, people say to me it gets better in time but for us it gets worse, not been able to play with dylan and not been able to watch barney with him it all hurts. He looks a lovely boy and you must be very proud to be his mummy!!! 
             GOD BLESS MATTHEW XXXXXXX Close

Poem for my angel  / Mum, Matthews Mum

I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say

"We go to earth and learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mummy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mum
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mummy set me free.

I miss my Mummy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
"Mummy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."

 

 

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are OK
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with me
Until your lesson is through
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
~ Author unknown ~
Miss you so very much Matt xxxx

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Thinking of you all  / Grahame
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Mothers Day  / Mum (Matthews Mum)
Dear Matt,
Its the first Mothers Day without you here and I miss you so much, every day hurts without you but today the tears just wont stop as I imagine how it would have been if you hadn't gone. Whenever it was a birthday or Christmas, Easter or Mothers Day, Charlotte would take you upstairs and you would both make cards. There would be paint, glue and glitter all over the floor but you'd be looking so proud of yourselves, you'd had fun. This year she hasnt made any, I dont think she wants to do things without you now.
So this year there are no cards and thats the way I want it.
My heart breaks for you, Ive had enough, I want you to come home now.
My love always and forever, each day that passes is a step closer to being with you and giving you a big hug and kiss, til then, be a good boy and remember how much I love you.
Always and forever
Mum xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Close

FLY - Played at Matthews funeral  / Matts Mum (Mum)

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light.

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